The panic banker called the family asking for help before disappearing in Spain. Months later they learned a tragic truth

• Grant Bar called his brother James at Panica and asked for help while traveling to Spain, which sent the family to rush to the airport

• As the family arrived, they started looking for him and announced that he had disappeared a day later, on January 29

• After more than two months of search, James learned his appearance and a dedicated brother drowned

At the end of January morning, Grant Bar called her mother to tell her how beautiful she was in the resort town he visited on the southern shore of Spain. He bought her a ticket to fly out of New Jersey the same afternoon, but that was the last time his mother would hear from him again.

The same day Bar, 36, left his uncle’s home where he was staying, and called his bigger brother James, 41, panic. Grant, a high -ranking New York banker, thought someone was after him.

“He said,” James, I’m in difficulty. I need help. They after me, “says James, who works in finance, tells people.” I heard the panic in his voice. “

James says he needed “every piece” of him to stay calm. He says Grant had no previous mental health problems, but a few weeks before his trip, his brother began to have episodes of paranoia or “misleading thinking” that will last about 10 minutes at a time.

After the call for help, James managed to get his brother back on the phone. This call lasted about 30 seconds – and while James couldn’t remember what his brother said, one thing was clear: he needed help. When he failed to reach Grant again, he immediately rushed to the airport from his home in New Jersey.

James met with his mother, father and brother in Estepona on January 28, where they immediately began to look for Grant. The next day they cannot find him, he was told that he had disappeared in the local police.

The next month, the family searched for miles on foot, interviewed locals and reached for help from the US and FBI State Department when they were states.

On February 19, a man revealed that he had found the pants and passport of Grant from the sea wall in Estepona, but only on April 4, after Grant’s remains were identified by DNA testing that the Spanish authorities told the family that his body had washed on the shore the previous month. Grant’s death was resolved to drown, according to his brother, who is still waiting to see the final report.

“We’re in a rough shape,” says James of his family. “I think we come to the realization that things will never be the same.”

State and Spanish authorities of the US, Guardia Civil and Police National, did not immediately answer people’s requests for comment.

The banker, who was dedicated to his work at Bny Mellon, loved to sail, according to his brother.

In order to celebrate the 40th birthday of their other brother Luke in May, their brothers and sisters and their father planned to take an excursion to Croatia, sailing with Grant as a captain for a charto boat week. Given this plan, Grant flew to Spain to take a sailing course. When the bad weather transferred his plans, Grant decided to visit his mother’s family instead.

Leading to the trip, Grant was stressed from work and had just gone through parting with his girlfriend. Grant did not share many details with James, but his bigger brother says he “made it really difficult.”

Between the combined stress and the misleading episodes, the family hoped that leaving New York would help give “cleansing their mind”.

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Their hopes were shattered by the calls they received from Grant only two days after he arrived in the Costa del Sol region.

Although things looked good when he called his mother, he eventually called James as well as their father, begging for help. After reaching Estepona, the family said many people remember that they had seen a Grant, including the owner of a local post office, who said she had talked to him at the time he had disappeared.

“He was intelligent, he spoke clearly, but he was something in reality,” a James woman recalls a woman telling his brother. “He sat down, asked for help.” But when the police arrived, Grant had already left.

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After Grant’s belongings were included, his family rushed back to Spain to start looking again. James remembers that he was walking up to 30 miles a day, looking for his brother while his mother and brother went from door to door. Their father, who cannot be surrounded as easily, went to places where they heard that Grant had been seen. “He was sitting there all day with coffee, just waiting to see if Grant walked past,” James recalls.

After about 10 days of searching, their siblings and their mother returned to the United States while their father was back.

On April 4, their desperate search ended.

“My brother calls me and he goes,” Grant’s home, “says James, who was initially relieved, but then noticed the tone of Luke. Luke explained, saying, “No, he’s in heaven.” “

Luke flew from Indiana to New Jersey so they could tell her mother the news together. When the brothers called his father, he was sitting in a cafe in Estepona, still looking for Grant. “It sounded optimistic and positive. At last it was a nice day,” James says. “We told him, too, of course, he just fell apart. There is no right way to process him.”

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As the family grieves, they also fight unanswered questions. James wonders if his younger brother has decided to swim and gets caught in a frigid Ripid or if he slipped on the rocks – just as James stumbled during the search for his brother on the beach.

“Nothing can fill the huge grant leaves in all of us,” James says. “We will carry it with us in everything we do and every breath we take until we finally meet again.”

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